Detention with Dolores
by The Little Anonymous Author
Summary: Harry and Ron decide to give Umbridge a rough time during their detention...


Detention with Dolores

A/N: I own nothing :)

**All rights belong to TheHillywoodShow**

It was no more than ten minutes into their detention that Ron began complaining. "Miss," he whined after letting out an over-exasperated sigh. No answer. "_Miss!" _ Ron tried again, much louder this time. He also waved his hands about in a lame attempt to grab Umbridge's attention. Harry couldn't help but to laugh as he sat next to his mental friend.

"What is it, Mr. Weasley?" she replied with her ever so annoying voice. Through the shrillness of it, the two boys could tell she was already frustrated. And detention had only just begun.

"If you haven't noticed," Ron continued on as if he hadn't sensed her bitter tone, "we're wearing wool cloaks." Harry gave Ron an odd look until he finished, "So, can't we get a window open in here? It's really hot."

Professor Umbridge gave the boy a bewildered look. It was the middle of winter and they were currently in a spare room located within the dungeons. (Her other office was undergoing some renovations thanks to a quite brilliant prank pulled by none other than the Weasley twins.) So, how could anyone possibly be 'hot'?

Unlike Umbridge, who was utterly confused, Harry understood completely as to what Ron was pulling. And seeing as how he really had nothing to lose at this point, being that he had been already banned from quidditch, he went along with it.

"Yeah!" Harry agreed, smirking at his best mate. "Yeah, miss, can't we go outside please?" he pouted. "It's _really_ hot."

"Absolutely not," she replied, clearly trying to maintain her temper. "Now, keep quiet, the both of you." After eying the two one last time, the Professor went back to grading her assignments.

Harry then decided that maybe it would be best to just endure their punishment instead of making things worse, so he rested his head upon his desk in defeat. Ron, on the other hand, had a different idea.

"Hey, miss?" Ron asked, waving his hand about for the second time that evening.

Umbridge carefully placed her quill down and gave the red-head a stern look, "What is it, Mr. Weasley?" she responded through clenched teeth.

"I was just wondering," he continued, trying to maintain a serious face, "What's your first name, again?" This question caused Harry to raise his head and look up at Ron, wide-eyed. Did his mate have a death wish?

Dolores huffed, "I believe the Headmaster announced my name during the Welcoming Feast, Mr. Weasley," she raised a hand to prevent Ron from butting in, "but either way, that does not matter seeing as you are to address me as Professor Umbridge and nothing more."

"Miss Dumbridge?" Harry jumped in, finally seeing the fun in this. He was quite bored and figured that if Ron was going to keep this charade up despite what he did, then there was no point in sitting in silence the entire time. "Did she say Miss _Dumb_bridge?" Harry laughed loudly along with Ron who was currently giving him a high-five.

"Ahem!" Dolores intervened, trying to silence the duo. Her face was starting match her clothes at this point which only amused her students furthermore. Umbridge then gave them each a warning look.

"Well it sounded like Dumbridge," Ron mumbled after both he and Harry were silenced. The Professor merely acted as if she hadn't heard his comment or his friend's snickering and tried to go back to work. It was but a mere matter of moments, however, that her concentration was broken yet again.

"Alright, so if _Umbridge_ is her last name," Ron smiled as he addressed his friend, "then that would make Dolores her first name, right?"

Harry stifled a laugh and responded as if their Professor wasn't sitting across from them, "Yeah, I should think so," he nodded knowingly.

"Bloody hell," Ron said, not trying to be quiet in the least bit, "What an ugly name…"

Before adding to that, Harry looked up and was almost disappointed to see that his comment hadn't even caused Umbridge to look up from her desk. "Tell me about it," he told Ron louder than what was necessary being that he was sitting right beside him. "I wouldn't want a name that rhymed with something stupid like _chorus_," he retorted.

Ron couldn't help but to break out in laughter. And before Umbridge could tell him to shut it, another idea popped into his head, "Chorus!" Ron shouted. Harry gave him a confused look until his friend broke out and began singing, "_Double, double, toil, and trouble, Umbridge is a big fat bubble! Double, double, toil, and trouble, something wicked, yes she is!_" he sang quite quickly to avoid interruption from the Professor, despite the fact that he knew he would be getting it afterwards.

After recovering from the shock, Harry began laughing hysterically. The satisfied look on Ron's face mixed with the furious one on Umbridge's was just too funny. He clapped for the courage his deluded friend had.

"ENOUGH!" Dolores finally snapped. The moment she stood up both boys were instantly silenced. Even though they both knew they were in for it, Harry and Ron were literally fighting back tears from all of the laughing.

"Now," she continued as she straightened out her frilly pink dress, "Either the two of you will be quiet or I shall have you both expelled from this school. Do you understand?" Umbridge questioned this with way too much pleasure laced through her voice. It was so disturbing that the two boys merely nodded their heads instead of arguing against it. They knew that it was impossible to be expelled over something so ridiculous.

Now feeling somewhat content over getting her two students to momentarily behave, Umbridge tried once again to go back to work.

The empty threat didn't last as long as she would have hoped for it was only several minutes later that Harry spoke up.

"Miss, are you Voldemort?" he smirked as Ron silently chuckled. Harry felt that it was now his turn to use their Gryffindor courage.

"Ex-excuse me?" Dolores choked on her tea. She had obviously chosen the wrong time to take a sip from it.

"Yeah, miss, are you?" Ron inquired. "Because we have no idea who _Voldemort _is…" he went on trying his best to look innocent. It was very hard to do, especially since he was trying so hard not to laugh.

They both then looked towards their Professor as if expecting a proper answer. As they waited, Ron's eyes suddenly grew wide, "Is that a spider on your lip, miss?" he asked, completely horrified.

"No it's just her big, hairy, mole," Harry told him with a huge smile plastered across his face. It was amusing to see Ron let out a sigh of relief as if he actually believed there was a spider on her face.

It was then, however, that Umbridge snapped her quill in two. She was nearly shaking from all of the anger currently boiling up inside her, "I _will_ have order!" she said sternly. "Now-"

"Hey!" Harry said quickly before she had the chance to yell at them, "We're not being nasty towards you, Professor," he said in all honesty. "We were just told that we must not tell lies."

Umbridge gave him a disbelieving look while Harry just shrugged his shoulders as if he and Ron were not at fault for any of their actions.

"Yeah," Ron added, breaking the silence, "we must not tell lies, miss." He nodded his head proudly, causing Harry to grin once more.

"That's it!" Umbridge yelled, nearly causing the two boys to cover their ears. Her voice was unnaturally high-pitched. "Out of my office, now!" She directed the duo towards the door.

"Awe, but miss, our detention's not over for another _hour_," Harry said in mock disappointment.

"Yeah, miss, are you sure-?" Ron went to say, but Umbridge had rudely interrupted before he had the chance to finish. Without saying a word, the small woman dressed in pink grabbed the two boys by their shirts and gave them a hard shove out of her office before promptly slamming the door shut.

Ron and Harry were nearly out of breath by the time they reached Gryffindor tower. Being that they had practically laughed the entire way, it really wasn't all that surprising.

"That was brilliant!" Ron said, patting Harry on the back. "Now we know how to get out of any future detentions," he told him as they made their way passed the Fat Lady.

"Well, I don't think that would work out quite as nicely with Snape," Harry smirked. The thought of Ron singing to their hated potions Professor was ten times funnier to imagine. Ron's singing before Umbridge paled in comparison.

Ron shuddered, "Yeah, I wouldn't even consider giving that greasy git a hard time." Still, he also laughed at the idea of messing with Snape.

"What are the two of you doing back here so early?" Hermione asked. The laughing had caused her to snap out of her studies. "I thought detention wasn't over for at least another hour?" A bewildered look crossed her face as her two friends suddenly broke out into a fit of giggles. "What's so funny?" she asked.

Harry honestly tried his best to answer her, but only found that what had taken place earlier was too funny to talk about just yet. And seeming to figure out that she wouldn't be getting an answer any time soon, Hermione shook her head and tried to go back to work. "Boys…" Hermione sighed.


End file.
